I lay last night on the floor looking for some grace on this plane.
It was a heavy night, feeling isolated and invisible.
A vessel of life, I am.
I think.
Feelings are fleeting- at least the good ones.
All I could do was cry.
Reliving it, all I can do is allow the stream of tears to roll down my face.
In the middle of the dark night, I grabbed onto my shoulders and held for dear life.
I wasn’t going to give up on myself, even if the world had.
Even if my mother was dead.
Even if my father could care less if I lived or died.
I would not give up and retreat to the looming thoughts…
A vessel of life I am.
Even if I don’t see it, feel it, or believe it.
Feeding everything around me.
The glimmer in their eyes is enough to keep me above ground.
For now.
How do I breathe life into a vessel of life broken by life?
I won’t let go.
I won’t let go.
I won’t let go.
I won’t let go even if my father has.
Too much of him I guess I am.
In the darkest night of my life and all I can feel is like a burden.
Trying to shrink myself into oblivion.
Anything not to feel like this.
Whatever this is.
I won’t let go.
I won’t let go.
I won’t let go.
Even if the world does.
I won’t let go.
I see my smile in theirs.
That’s what keeps me above ground.
Last night, in the dark, I held onto my shoulders for dear life.
Til my knuckles cracked, and sweat dripped down my back.
I won’t let go.
Even if there are only my shoulders to hold onto.
Their smiles keep me above ground.
Beautiful piece👍🏾
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