| Alpha

I come from the spirit of two young hearts, new to the concept of life

What all that meant

What it all could mean

 

There is no place strange to a soul conceived on the shore

In her first car

Her first time

Their last moment of strange

 

Unfamiliar lands inviting them to themselves

Together

For then

Forever

The fire that bore me

From the air

 

Signs

Pointing in so many directions

They chose Love

Where everywhere is home

 

For then

Forever

I come from their hearts

The flame they kindled with their hopes

 

Dreams of a life

That looked nothing like me

Here I stand in the land that their hearts designed

Hands outstretched to catch the rays of light they left behind

 

Home is where the heart is

I was conceived on the shores of the Clearwater Beach

Then carried up the coast to be delivered in Philly

Where I took my first breath and first steps

 

I found myself on the countryside of West Atco

Sitting in fields of dandelions, looking for ghosts

The wind at my back and under my feet

Plucking flowers and chasing tumbleweeds

 

My first best friend was a spider

With no name

Most folks call them Daddy Long Legs

Learned that long johns were called thermals

In the city, more troubles

Wondered why Momma wanted to move in the first place

 

Learned what it was like to not feel at home

For the first time

In the city where I was born

Found my soul mates in the same space

 

I could say I was partly raised

Partly crave the countryside some days

Most days feel like I’m getting by on a high tide

Praying the waves don’t crash too soon

 

Too cool

In the city

Everybody too cool

Quite frankly

 

WIth them fast cars and them stereos

I used to sleep like a baby in the stillness of the night

Now silence causes me plight

It’s heavy and don’t feel right

 

In the space where there ain’t nothing but lights

And sounds

When rest is needed

But stirring is abundant

 

There still ain’t enough to go around

For anyone

Ain’t no love

But I live in the heart

 

In the chamber, ready to discharge

With the wind beneath my wings

Soaked with soot and spit

Carrying my heart in a vice grip

 

Too cool in the city

So I set sights on the shore

My heart and spirit feel full

The sands dance at the sight of my feet

 

Bury my heart at home

In the sea

Where there is no stranger

Just friends who have yet to meet

 

Unfamiliar lands inviting them to themselves

Together

For then

Forever

The fire that bore me

From the air

 

That carries me, pushes me to the edge

A fairy on a ferry

Headed for the horizon

Drink the tide she ride in

 

On my feet

At the bottom of the sea

That bore the spirit that bore me

Home is nowhere and everywhere in between

To a soul like me

 

Home is sitting in fields of dandelions, looking for ghosts

The wind at my back and under my feet

Plucking flowers and chasing tumbleweeds

 

Walking through Beirut on a summer day

Cars whipping by with catcallers twice my age

Learning to be too cool

Just to make it through the haze

 

Smoke breeds more smoke

Too much air to tame the flame

Ignited and displaced

Internalized rage

 

Sitting in the heart of the city

Waiting in the chamber

Don’t want no smoke

Feeling the fire

 

What’s home with no mother?

What’s home with no father?

Unfamiliar lands inviting me to call them home

No place will do

 

But the shores that they came to

There’s no place like home

There’s no place like home

There’s no place like home

 

Everywhere and nowhere and all in between

 

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Affirmation.oxygen

Today,

I honor the breath in my body

Invite in

More OXYGEN

I honor my mind, body and spirit

As

A unit

And the

individual

parts

Within it.

Her

She deserves the world,

better yet,

Earth.

 

Affirmation.oneday

I will not be consumed by

my disappointments

I will reinvent myself

As many times

As I see fit

One Day

At a Time

Affirmation.good

Thoughts travel faster than

the speed of light

I send what sits in my heart

Out

To guide the steps ahead.

True Love

By design.

Think good thoughts 

Think good thoughts

Think good thoughts

Good Thoughts

 

Affirmation .be

When I allow myself to be free,

my dreams, and the best of all,

for all,

can live.

When I am free,

my dreams, and the best of all,

for all,

can live.

When I am free,

my dreams, and the best of all,

for all,

live.

And it is in this

Moment

that I

remember

who I am

whom I love

and to truly

Be.

Kamilian @ Kaffa Crossing

kamilianbooksigning

This is the beginning of my heart’s memory.

I’ve done what I was charged to do with it and giving it to the world.

This is my thesis, my “why”.

It’s through the love I’ve found and was blessed to know and give that I gathered the vision to trust my heart and share.

The Beginning is the first of a series of issues dedicated to real life events I’ve experienced over the 30 years I’ve roamed this planet.

In this issue we explore what’s happened to and around me.

The first step in healing is seeing.

What’s at your core that tempts you to leave yourself? What’s there that holds you still?

______ now, I am

I’m not dead 

Fear is paralyzing; the ultimate distraction
That no one has ever, ever been able to afford.
In the arena of my mind, I set fire to the stage and watch Love and

Fear duke it out to be the last one standing on the ashes.

Focus is my Victory.
I can truly hear myself
(((SCREAM)))
Trampling between pride and hunger, I see the pattern

I’m.mortal.
“i-m-m-o-r-t-a-l”
Soul is who aches when I cry and who rejoices at the tears.
The stream is the aftermath.
What’s screaming but Fear shrinking in sight of Heart?
You?
A single vessel, for the moment, her 1000th time saving the world, today.
Sound waves bare witness to your Exodus, forever echoed throughout the Ether.
I’ve given up to be the ashes, the sand in the arena of Love.
Because
I’m.mortal

immortal
Carried away in the wind of my thoughts, I fall, hard, to the floor
Here. Again.
Buried a mile under the sea of ashes with Fear grabbing for my ankles.
Just one pinch
Focus is my Victory,

I can truly hear myself
Bouncing between Hunger and Heart
I see the pattern
Silence is my solace
“I-a-m-i-m-m-o-r-t-a-l”

“Unknown”, now, “I am”

I am immortal