I will not be consumed by

my disappointments

I will reinvent myself

As many times

As I see fit

One Day

At a Time



Thoughts travel faster than

the speed of light

I send what sits in my heart


To guide the steps ahead.

True Love

By design.

Think good thoughts 

Think good thoughts

Think good thoughts

Good Thoughts


Affirmation .be

When I allow myself to be free,

my dreams, and the best of all,

for all,

can live.

When I am free,

my dreams, and the best of all,

for all,

can live.

When I am free,

my dreams, and the best of all,

for all,


And it is in this


that I


who I am

whom I love

and to truly


Kamilian @ Kaffa Crossing


This is the beginning of my heart’s memory.

I’ve done what I was charged to do with it and giving it to the world.

This is my thesis, my “why”.

It’s through the love I’ve found and was blessed to know and give that I gathered the vision to trust my heart and share.

The Beginning is the first of a series of issues dedicated to real life events I’ve experienced over the 30 years I’ve roamed this planet.

In this issue we explore what’s happened to and around me.

The first step in healing is seeing.

What’s at your core that tempts you to leave yourself? What’s there that holds you still?

…Much is Tested

The scales you polish so much

Have failed you

Consumed by the beauty of the balance

Shifting your weight to keep up

With the glimmer

Dare to scuff

The scale

Wasn’t made to carry you

Shape your soles to bear your heart.

Feet stumble in passion.

She who carries Heart walks with Grace.


What would the world be without glory? The same thing it would be without pain.

Everything is relative.

However you want to slice it, we were all created to be here in the same place at the same time.

We must never allow ourselves to be guided or stopped by what anyone else is doing. We must never allow ourselves to be guided or stopped by what anyone else is doing. We must never allow ourselves to think we can only go so far because others are already there.

I didn’t choose to be here now

I never knew there was a choice

My majesty was borne out of the need for Love to thrive unconditionally.

So was yours

Rejoice in that.

Be grateful you are one of Love’s children,

one in a million,

among the many,

ones in millions,

living for Love.

And she goes hard for her kids.

Praise the hard times

Praise the easy ones

Plan for the worst

Strive for the best

Praise the hard times

Praise the easy ones

Love goes hard

For all her kids

When it’s hard

When it’s easy

It’s This One Thing: You deserve you, not your problems.

It takes a lot of courage to analyze your life.

In this world, you’re supposed to have it together, right now, all at once. If you don’t, you’re screwed. 

Success is not yours to claim.

And that success isn’t transmutable. It doesn’t come in every color under the sun. In fact, it’s governed by a white picket fence. There is no gradient.

That success doesn’t interest me at all. The shit I’ve seen in life, I’m happy to have a hot meal, a glass, some herb and good- if I’m lucky, live-music at the end of my day. 

At some point, it’s time to look at why it’s so important to get everything done right now

Why right now? 

My life is all screwed up. 


Tell me how. As a matter of fact, write down how much of your life is screwed up. 

Collect all of your thoughts and analyze your current situation. Concentrate on what areas of your life you need to rebuild. 

Learn to separate the different parts of your life that make you whole. 

Do not allow the temporary weakening of a specific part of your life affect the rest of who you are. 

  You are WAY MORE than your problems.

Let’s look at the definition of a problem: 

A matter or situation regarded as unwelcome or harmful and needing to be dealt with or overcome.

Even if you have more than one problem at a time, your life is not over.

A problem is not greater than you. It is a tool used to rebuild and shape your path. 

…If you are working on it.

What? Some of us fall in love with our problems?


There’s this one thing called romanticizing your problems. 

I used to romanticize my problems because I had no faith in myself. I believed that my problems were more resilient than I was and that it’d be useless trying to get rid of them. 

I began to identify with them, even make excuses for having them and fear letting go of the beasts I’d come to know. 

As the Stockholm syndrome commenced, I lost myself in my problems. I was bent and they were holding me up, I’d convinced myself. 

Expectations? What are those? 

I’d had standards and I hated myself for it. In my mind, my problems were bigger than me and I was being foolish in still wanting the things that I felt I deserved. 

You can’t get past your insecurities. Men only want confident women. No man will want you. Ever. 

Rational or irrational, my thoughts gave way to my problems. I was mentally unhealthy and it cost me a few relationships to realize I was in deep. 

I ain’t shit…

The cycle continued and the self-loathing became unbearable. Then one day I caught a glimpse of myself in the hallway mirror leading to the front door. I smiled and stood, regarding my face and shoulders. 

My late grandmother’s voice rang in my head, 

I watched you walk from 16th street all the way to the corner because I wanted to compliment  you on your walk. I said, “That young lady has great posture”. Then I said, “Oh that’s Kamila!”

That day in the mirror, replaying my grandma’s words in my head over and over again, I’d decided to break out of the hold my problems had over me. A graceful maiden with a full life and a big heart and a badddd walk could not be denied what she deserved most, her highest esteem.

One thing: You deserve more of your attention and esteem than your problems do. No matter how big they are.

“Life is like a puzzle. 

Sometimes the pieces fall apart, but they can be put back together. 

There are pieces from your parents and friends, pieces from people you like and from people you don’t like that make your life what it is. 

There are pieces from books, pieces of songs, and pieces of things that have happened to you. 

All the pieces of your life affect you, but THEY ARE NOT YOU.”

Remember that today and everyday. Problems are tools that, when worked on, sharpen the person you are and are becoming. 

Mine bow down to me. I’m always on the grind working on myself.